I guess the first thing that really needs to be said is:
I love you.
I think you know that and knew that when you died, but I feel better sending it out into the world, because I miss you and that's why I've decided to start writing to you.
You were such a big part of my life when you were alive and even though you're not here anymore I still feel myself aching to speak to you, so I figured this is the best way to do it, through unsent letters.
I hope that you are still mostly yourself, or at least enough to read these and know that I think of you and hope that one day you'll come back to me in one way or another.
I miss you so much my heart hurts...no-one has ever made me feel as special as you did, so effortlessly. I miss hearing your laugh and making you cups of tea and just being with you, knowing that I could be totally myself. I wish I said more often how much I loved you and how much I loved our time together...but I think you knew.
And I'd like to think that even after 3 years you are still yourself and watching over me, even as I write this, without any underwear on, laughing because you know that I think better when I'm naked.
I miss that chuckle of yours and the way that you laughed with your whole body and your whole mouth, so hard sometimes that you cried. I hope that you still laugh like that, even without a body...
I think I'm going to leave you now with the lyrics to the song I spoke of in the other letter that diaryland ate...
'I can fly, but I want his wings.
I can sigh, even in the darkness, but I crave the light that he brings, revel in songs that he sings.
My angel Gabriel.
I can love, but I need his heart.
I am strong, even on my own, but from him I never want to part.
He's been there since the very start, my angel Gabriel.
Bless the day, he came to be, angels wings carried him to me, heavenly.'
I thought you'd like that.
Don't forget me.