Hoping... (2003-05-06)

Dear James,

Goddess I want you so bad. I look forward to the few moments we spend together before the class starts, just chatting. I love talking to you and wish that I could cultivate this fragile bond I feel forming between us, even though I know youíre seeing someone else- I mean hell, of course youíre seeing someone else, youíre perfect!

The thing is, I also know that there have been moments between us. I feel a connection, felt it the first second you came up and introduced yourself and I think youíre beginning to feel it too. You hesitate before you say goodbye to me, thinking about how youíre going to do it; you tell me personal things, which I know if we had more time would turn into a big D&M and you smile at me, not just with that gorgeous mouth, but with those beautiful blue eyes.

Now maybe Iím reading too much into this and the truth is youíre just a nice guy who sees me as a little sister, but Iím hoping against hope that thatís not the case. Iím hoping that Iím not imagining the way you look at me, Iím hoping that all the stuffing around we do during drills IS flirting and Iím hoping that one day youíll give our little bond a chance.

-Me

heart - break

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