it aches (2008-04-20)

Dear Gallus,

So it's still boys boys everywhere, but of course I still can't get you out of my head. I so wish I could get out of my head right now. The irony is of course, that it's you I would run to and always have and that part of the very ennui I'm trying to express is a direct result of losing the haven of your arms.

I had a shit week this week and all I could think of was how much I wished you were here, and how I would give my right arm to have you in my bed right now, wrapped around me like you used to, holding me and keeping me safe from my own thoughts.

Sexually, romantically and physically I'm over you, but emotionally I'm still yours. I'm beginning to wonder if it will ever go away, or if this is it for me and I will forever remain locked inside my little shell, with only the memories of your love to haunt me.

I miss you, like the dull ache of a phantom limb, no longer there but always remembered.

I wonder if you miss me that way too...

-Me

heart - break

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