Dear Gallus,

I miss your cuddles. I miss being held so much sometimes I cannot breathe for the longing that consumes every cell in my body. I am so pathetically jealous everytime they show people spooning on TV, it makes me sick.

I miss that, god I miss that so so much, you have no idea.

I miss the weight of your arms and the whisper of your breath against my neck and the butterfly touch of your lips as they brushed my shoulder blades, even when that technically wasn't allowed.

I miss the feeling of contentment that always drenched me whenever you wrapped yourself around me- even after everything went pear-shaped, that still never went away.

Most of all I miss that the way that that stupid little voice in my head that reminded me of my worthlessness would be silenced, as I knew, knew to the depths of my bones and soul that while I was broken and damaged, it didn't matter to you, you loved me anyway.

And that my seemingly former friend is why you will always have a piece of my heart, now, tomorrow and always.

I don't want you, I just want that feeling back. Unfortunately as I am coming to realise, I don't think that's possible.

And it still makes me sad everyday.

-Me

heart - break