Another round of games begin (2009-02-03)

Dear Nathan,

So, late last night you randomly text me, all cute and flirty and shit and I am just like 'what the hell?! Didn't you get the memo??' And then I stopped and thought about what your brother told me- that you begged him for over an hour to give you my phone number because you wanted to apologise.

And you did- twice.

But still, the little voice in my head reminded me that we've been here before, you've popped up only to disappear again, not once, but TWICE now. So I was kinda mean in my text back.

And you waited for half an hour, seemingly thinking about what to say- I must confess you took so long I thought you were just going to wuss out altogether. And then at 11pm I get this miracle text-

Apparently your grandma passed away and so you were thinking of me and missing me & want to see me because I'm fun to hang with so you want to hang out with me. And you admit that you behaved like a dick and want to make amends.

Holy shit. Finally, you admit it!! Finally we seem to be being honest with eachother.

So I was all nice back and now I haven't heard from you. Huh? I thought we were going to stop all of that to and fro shit and sort this out?

Sigh. I wonder if this is the way it is always going to be, you pop up and say all the right things so I can't be mad at you and then you disappear into thin air and I am left hurt and disappointed.


Why do you keep doing this to me??

Why do I keep doing this to myself??

Coz right now, it hardly seems worth it.


heart - break

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