Dear Nathan,

So I am free this weekend. And I have been fighting this gnawing urge to text you all week and tee something up. What is stopping me?

Oh I don't know- the fact that I still don't know what you want from me. Or the fact that it is V-day, which I despise, mostly because I am made to feel pathetic for being single in a world full of smug marrieds, and therefore makes me equally desperate to have something to do to be able to say 'Ha! See, I have a life!!'

But mostly it's the fact that despite my best efforts I have blackslid into the daydreams where you don't treat me like shit and it all works out and the truth is, I'm shit scared of seeing you and being irrevocably disappointed by the reality that you just don't have your shit together and I'm going to get hurt again.

Damnitt, why can't it just be easy?

-Me

heart - break