So all of this shit has been happening and there is a super mega bitch at work and it's all making me insanely psychotically stressed.
And you know what that means:
Insomnia and intense sex cravings.
I will never forget how surprised you were at that. Apparently I have the weirdest reaction to stress you've ever seen. But really, it does make sense- I don't do drugs, I don't drink, I've got to release all that tension somehow!
It's bloody irritating right now, as I have no convenient boy toy to unlease all of my frustration upon (literally) and all that happens is that I have mega intense memory reels on repeat through my head of you and your hands and your mouth....particularly your mouth (random side note, that line from the movie 'I Love You Man', "Girl, lock that tongue down" cracked me up, that is so me & you!).
Arrrrrrrggggh! The sexual frustration is KILLING ME. Like I went out on Friday night with a whole bunch of people from dancing and had several guys express interest, but I just wasn't in the mood. Like if it looked like more of a sure thing with Ben, I would have done that, but I think he's too much of a gentleman really, doesn't have that nasty streak I'm looking for- you know the one, that part of you that would have let me tie you to a chair and torture you for hours, coz we both got off on that kind of thing.
And everyone reading this will surely think I am a skank of the highest order- the irony of course being that I have only ever slept with you and that was almost 3 years ago! The thing that I have come to realise though is that the sexual connection we had really was incredible and you were right, I really do have a bad girl streak a mile wide and I really am evil at times.
And I really hope that there is someone else out there who will appreciate it as much as you did, or else I am going to have to have an enforced period of hibernation during high stress times.
Seriously, it is getting out of hand, all I can think about is tying someone to my headboard and torturing them until they beg. I am so twisted...and you loved every damn second of it, but now you're gone and I have no-one to play with. Sigh.
I miss making you make that noise, that one deep in your throat, that growly moan that meant your restraint was about to break. God that was hot!
Okay, just reading this, I see I need to either decrease my stress or find a guy, coz this is just stupid.
GET A GRIP HORMONES!