Out of my mind, back in 5 minutes (I hope) (2009-08-27)

Dear Gallus,

So the countdown is well and truly underway, I leave the country in less than a month. And while it's not on the day my world fell apart, it's ironically the day after lol.

And I am just running around, trying desperately to organise everything and I am so psychotically stressed I think my head is going to explode. Truly, I feel like my shit is a mess, which is stupid because I am more organised than probably anyone else I know who has ever moved overseas, but still!

And I'm going home and I still occasionally get this niggling feeling like I should take the time to say goodbye to you, but then I have dreams like last night where you rocked up at my house and I wake up in a sweat, horrified at the mere thought.

Damn insomnia always fucks with my head, but I think it is telling that even seeing you in my dreams makes me feel icky. I don't want this to be about you and me and running away, because it's not like last time, this time I'm running TOWARDS something.

If I don't drive myself insane with stress before I get there anyway.

I wonder how long my body can take this before it packs up and the bradycardia turns into a full blown heart attack?


heart - break

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