Regression (2010-02-03)

Dear Gallus,

So, much to my immense disgust, I have completely backslid into the obsessive twisted fucked up tangle that is my mind trying to make sense of our relationship.

Godamnnit! I am sick to death of being all shibby, only to have someone say something, or do something, or see someone who resembles you and have all my hard work disappear into thin air.

What will it take, that is what I want to know, what will it take to make me finally break free from you and everything that happened and not fucking wish you were here holding me?!

I'm beginning to think death and nothing less will ever end this. I'm not suicidal, just resigned to my fate of always having this niggling part of my soul that reminds me I'm yours, no matter how long it has been and how hard I fight it, I will always come back to the fact that you were my one shot at all of that love crap and I can never have it again.


Did I mention how much I hate this?


heart - break

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