So, given the numerous comments on the last entry, I felt it was time to write something new. Also given previous comments and events over recent days, I thought some clarification was needed.
I thought about it see, I thought about all of the boys since you- and while there haven't been HEAPS, there have been a few, and their reaction to the issue fell into two camps: not bothered (+) and not interested as a result (-).
Matt #3 = +
I did my standard 'This is the deal' thing and he wasn't fazed. "I'm happy with whatever you can give me" (direct quote). He didn't care that I wouldn't have sex, but he was extremely unhappy that I wouldn't stay the night (which was because whenever he held me, I felt like I was cheating on you). NB: Also had sexual ESP and maaaaaaad skills. Seriously, the things that boy could do!!! I kinda wish I had slept with him, except I really was too messed up for that to be a good idea.
Crap, crap, crap. Had no fucking idea what he was doing, therefore ouch, then got all pissy when I said I couldn't have sex (not wouldn't), even though I had told him so from the start.
Awesome kisser. Seemed totally chilled with the situation "It's like dessert" (i.e you just have to wait for it, but it rocks). Then never called me and when I DID see him due to the fact one of his mates was dating my housemate, he ignored me. Asshole. NB: Found out he recently got engaged to someone else.
Technically in the neutral zone in that he dated me for 2 months and we didn't, but he spent literally the entire time begging/pushing. And the more he pushed, the more reticent I became.
Then there was the interlude with you. There was also Nathan and Darren in there, but given that I never got into the physical realm, they are technically unrated.
Then there was Melbourne Boy= +++
First person I ever fessed up to about the real situation re: abuse + you = vaginismus (although I didn't have a name for it then). Totally non-plussed and blew me away with his understanding and genuine acceptance of me and my history, warts and all. REALLY wish I had slept with him- but that was his call too and he made the decision knowing the full story and chose no.
Seemed like he was into me, but then really did just want to screw me. Didn't even want to stay the night unless he got some. Dickhead.
Scottish Boy (-)
Yes, he gets a minus and that's because while he SAID he was cool with it, he did really want it and then he never called me.
And I think that is everyone...there's also Neighbour boy and Ben and this other guy I met at a club and several other Nathan segueways, but they never got off the ground to that point.
So, minus the exclusions, we have -5 and +2. Not really the best odds.
To be continued...
heart - break