Dear Readers (all two of you lol)

So, I have returned and finally my beloved iBook and I are reunited. Can I just state for the record: I love travelling, but I hate the lack of internet access. I am pathetically dependent on FB for gossip and D-land for voyeurism.

Currently, I should be doing my assignment that is due tomorrow, BUT I just couldn't resist giving a quick overview of my trip.

Rome: Encountered my usual magnetism for disaster first up as my plane was delayed 5 hours, thus I basically missed everything. The next day I did get to do the Vatican which was incredible, although strangely I wasn't that keen on the Sistine Chapel, I preferred St Peters. I must go back though, plain and simple, as I only got to see the cool stuff (i.e Trevi fountain) from the taxi at night.

Venice: Rained. Awesome shopping but. The gondola ride was one of my highlights of the entire trip, but the city itself is actually quite ugly. I much prefer Amsterdam. Probably not helped by the massive drama I found myself in, that resulted in me being stuck with the Venitian police for an hour and a half due to someone else's drama. Most uncool.

Slovenia: There is but one word to describe Ljubljana- underwhelming. The Postonja caves on the other hand cannot be expressed using words alone. Pure unadulterated awesomeness comes to mind. People touching the limestone formations and destroying tens of thousands of years of nature at work can also be summed up in a single word- douchebags.

Budapest: Amazingness. Love love love it. Everyone talks about Prague being this incredibly beautiful city full of amazing architecture- which it is- but nobody talks about the fact that Pest is just as choc full of kickarse buildings that made me swoon. Andrassy street and I definitely have a thang going on. It is more run down and delapidated, but I still love it. It looks lived in, rather than fairy tale-esque. You must all go there- immediately!

Vienna: Also rained and I got lost in the very brief window we got to explore, thus I missed the entire thing. Went to a schnapps museum, which was amusing due to a half cut owner (which was seemingly a theme for the trip).

I also went to a classical concert which was cool, but the "ballet" (and I use this term loosely) was the worst I have ever seen. Truly, it was hideous, even the guys could see it was shit, but for me, it was actually painful to watch. Like when her penchee wasn't even 180 degrees AND she was half twisted from her hip. God, even talking about it makes me shudder.
Again, need to go back and revisit so I can actually see some cool stuff.

Prague: Stunning, as expected. I have a serious hard-on for Mucha, so seeing all of his work just out and about in chapels and buildings made me drool. I actually paid an obscene amount of money for a pendant with the bust of his 'Summer' painted on it- worth it!

Also the cathedral on castle hill officially wins for the most beautiful church in the world award. Seriously, it kicked St Peter's arse, because the glass windows were so beautiful they made me want to cry (even the ones NOT done by Mucha lol). That city, with it's medieval and art nouveau influences is how I would love to model my dream room. Mhmm Mucha.

Oh yeah, I also had a hot (but terribly young) Brazilian work his arse off to pick me up. I gently rebuffed him for a good hour, but he was persistent, I was getting egged on by my friends and genuinely I couldn't find any reason why not, so I ended up dragging him off to a dark corner and making out for a while.

Alas, terrible kisser (and into biting- what the? When I'm hot & naked, yes, bring that shit on, but in the middle of a club and on the sensitive top cartilage of my ear= not cool), but hey, happens to us all. He wanted my number so that we could meet up again in Berlin (where he lives), but I really couldn't be arsed.

I did have a little giggle at the situation of an Australian who lives in the Uk making out with a Brazilian who lives in Berlin while in Prague though- let it not be said that I do not do my part for multiculturalism :P

Prague was also the site of the truly mental bar owner who was definitely on the far side of too many drugs (think Ozzy Osbourne, but with short hair) that caused the group to genuinely fear for their lives and have to choose between eating his food and escaping physical retribution, or potential food poisoning. Truly hilarious!

Berlin: Surprisingly awesome. I really didn't think I would be into it, but I went to the Pergamon and almost wet my pants over the gates of Ishtar and also had some awesome fish, so all in all, thumbs up! Absolutely devo that I didn't get to go see IronMan 2 on the massive Sony screen though- we were meant to go, but then the other parties were much too damaged from the big night out the night before, so no go *sniff*. Tragedy right there.
Dresden was also beautiful.

Amsterdam: Wicked, as always. Only thought of Gallus once or twice, despite the doppelgangers, so definite progress in that department. Alas on my awesome bike ride misjudged a corner due to a series of factors and ended up flying through the air and crash-landing on the pavement about 2 metres away.

Will need to go to the doctors tomorrow for a full sit.rep. on the damage, but it seems to just be soft tissue damage to my shoulder, with a light wrist sprain and some truly spectacular bruises on my legs you have to see to believe.
Given that nobody who witnessed it thought that I would have survived, let alone gotten up without freaking out or shedding a tear and then gotten back on the bike to finish the ride, I felt I deserved some major bad-ass points.
I was just glad I managed to twist and contort in such a way as to not to fall on my head and crush my skull (as they don't believe in helmets), so thank the goddess for all that gymnastics training, if nothing else, it teaches you how to fall!

I also felt that I deserved a treat, and given my recent gains I went and did a spot of special shopping ;) T'was deliciously salacious, but would have been more fun with a friend (i.e Leah or Alyssa). This is going to sound nuts, but it was so cool to be able to do- not due to the whole taboo thing, but just the fact that that was even an option was so exciting, I was positively giddy. I am so used to not even thinking of it as a possibility in my life, so to have stuff back on the table is intoxicating.

Meanwhile, also had a completely insane farmer demonstrate how to make clogs- complete with hip thrusting and gyration. That is not an image that will be able to be erased from my brain any time soon. Unfortunately.

Bruges: Mhmm waffles & chocolate. Nuff said.

And after more dramas today with both the necessary tube and train stations being closed, I am finally home! I heard about some more jobs, with three -all in London- currently on the table, so that should get sorted this week.

But now I should go and make myself some food. I have decided that a dairy ban needs to be strictly enforced starting tomorrow, as I have been eating much too much crap and currently have a cheese belly. Stupid lactose, makes me retain water like a hippo, most upsetting. The dutch farm made cheese was amazing though and the waffles in Bruges were totally worth it! Tonight of course I still have my Belgian chocolate stash ;)

And I'm spent!

Love
Me

heart - break