I am sorry for the most boring post in the history of the world before, I'll try to be more interesting this time, I promise.
So, still procrastinating, which means FB, where Aidz has written me something particularly humourous and cute. And it struck me- my life would be so much easier if I could love him.
I'm serious, he's totally cool and we have loads in common and have the exact same sense of humour. He's incredibly supportive and is always there for me and he would never ever push me or pressure me, he's just not like that.
Oh yeah, did I mention that he asked me to marry him again when I was away? (Apparently the shirt is even more awesome than we thought, coz it glows in the dark lol).
And yet when I search my soul for any inkling of anything I come up with buptkiss. Why, why can't I just like the easy person? Like he's awesome, but it's just not there, whatever 'it' is- chemistry, attraction, etc.- it just doesn't exist for me when I think of him.
And while part of me goes- well, you could just be with him anyway, I would never ever do that, because that is HORRIBLE. He deserves more than someone who just sticks around for the hell of it. He already wasted almost an entire year of his life with Mel like that.
So he'll only ever be my friend. Coz my stupid heart is stupid and only seems to like the people who are bad for me.