Dear Gallus,

So I've had a pretty screwy couple of days. I met with the Job 2 people, who were lovely...luckily given that they kept me waiting for 40 minutes! They are ridiculously disorganised...standard Uk practice really. Sigh. And I had such high hopes...

Anyway they are really nice and half of the job I could do in my sleep, it's basically just managing an already up to date caseload, no probs. The hearing impairment half though is going to be tough going- the caseload is massive and I won't have anyone to learn from. The guy is happy to talk to me, but it's not like I will be able to watch him in action or anything...they also have pretty poor facilities and I'm a tad worried about resources, as they don't really seem to have any...

It is kinda linked to Great Ormond Street but not really- as I suspected.

The thing is that despite all of my misgivings, I don't think I can turn it down, more for the security that it will bring. I should be able to be in that job for at least 9 months, more like a year. They will also pay me a bit more, which I need given that I found out yesterday that my other short term contract for August got pulled so I am unemployed until September.

This is not good, I need to be earning money, obviously to live off, but also for my visa plans. It just sucks because I have gotten nailed twice now with these massive gaps. What I am even more pissed about is that I dropped down to one topic at uni, blowing out my completion deadline- expecting to be crazy busy and now I see that I could have done two!

It also fucks up my future plans re: travel. My cousin is coming in Sept and now I won't be able to take any time off to see her. I'm also going to have to take my iceland/sweden holiday during term break as oh yeah, I go down to half time during school holidays. Sigh.

I hate having to worry about money. Actually I currently am fine, I have stacks saved, it's just the long term stuff. If I was continuously employed, it would all be fine, but these fucking funding gaps are killing me. Goddamn Tories!

Plus, let's be frank, boredom is a big problem for me. I know that I am not particularly well, so it's for the best that I'm not working this week, but still, I'm going to go nuts without anything to do until September!

Thus today I have spent the whole day researching like a demon and have planned another Madrid trip for the last week of August- shopping and art, mwahaha! That and I have a skeleton plan for Sweden and Iceland, with my friend in Sweden factored in quite nicely. I just need to email my cousin's mum and check I still have accommodation in Stockholm, then sort out places to stay in Gothenburg and Reyjkjavic and it's ON!

Also managed to sort out my flights for Egypt for Xmas. I have to go through Milan, but it's only a stopover, so that should be fine. Should really book a hotel for that too...

Oh and my new moisturiser and Sookie Stackhouse book both arrived today, so all up it has been a busy day, even though I have barely moved from the couch lol.

The crap part is that I often have to pay single supplements for stuff, which kinda annoys me. Ironically I think that you would really like Iceland, all that space and the adventure sports and stuff, definitely your kind of place. But you will never go anywhere, except deeper into your own wallowing misery and self pity.

I have had music channels on in the background for most of the day and I really like the video clip for the new Rhianna/Eminem song- I'm not usually a Dominic Monaghan fan, but his ink in that clip is HHHHOTTT. It also totally reminds me of me and you and the whole intense to the point of combustible thing.

But yeah, I had a little giggle to myself in that the two people who have gotten me the hottest- you and Melbourne Boy- both have massive tattoos on your shoulder blades (opposite sides and totally different designs though). I wonder if that is part of the appeal, as I also think Nathan's ink is hot- mostly because he designed half of them himself.

It really does appeal to me, providing it suits the person and isn't just a standard tribal thing because everyone else has one. I'm talking about the bloody celtic/flame thing that every second fucking Qld guy gets on their bicep (Loz, you can back me up on this one). Tribal tattoos that are actually meaningful i.e Samoan or Maori ones are different, as they are actually a cultural initiation thing.

Anyway, I just realised that I don't know how I will ever meet those hot edgy people here- I'm sure they exist, but I don't have the contacts into that world and I get pigeon-holed as being goody goody due to my professional life. That and the blonde hair/glasses combo. I have yet to meet anyone who isn't shocked in my taste in guys- including the guys themselves. I remember you were...

What can I say? I like tattoos and piercings- providing they suit the person as previously stated- and I NEED edge. Not a bad boy necessarily, more I need someone I can push against that can push back. That and brains are the two things that will get you into my pants. Weird, but true!

I've only found the combo a couple of times...which directly correlated with my most intense/best sexual experiences, so there you go- if anyone reading this knows of a tall, edgy guy with tattoos and strategic piercings who also happens to have some serious grey matter in the form of a masters degree (preferrably in linguistics or the like) let me know!

-Me

heart - break