Dear Readers,

So, I am reading this book atm, called state of ME, about a girl who has ME/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. It's interesting, but I'm not sure if it's the best thing for me to be reading, coz it brings up a lot of stuff.

Most people have no idea that I have/had it, mostly because I am crazy careful and manage myself really well. I have learnt the limits of my body the hard way and I don't fuck around with it.

But it also means that people have no idea of the hell that was my life for several years. One of my biggest fears is relapse and I would do anything to prevent it. This means that it really pisses me off when people give me a hard time for making these choices.

No, I don't drink alcohol. This is because I don't like the taste, but also because it gives me muscle spasms and palpitations and then migraines- even if it's only one drink. Champagne is the worst.

No, I don't drink coffee, or indeed any type of caffeine, including tea. Why, because of the above mentioned symptoms, in addition to insomnia and sweating.

No, I don't have red bull, or V or any kind of power drink or stimulant, herbal or otherwise because THEY MAKE ME SICK.

Yes, I will go home early if I am already tired because pushing it for an extra couple of hours will only serve to fuck me up for the next couple of DAYS.

See, this is what people don't get, my body has limits- and so does theirs- the difference is that if I ignore those limits my body will make me pay. In spades.

The most irritating thing is when they go 'Oh, I couldn't do that.'

Well bully for you, you have a choice to be a fucking idiot. I do not. And believe me champ, if you experienced what I did, you bet your arse you could do that. Or I would hope so if the choice is between giving up stimulants and giving up the use of your legs because you don't have the strength to stand for more than 30 seconds.

Like I said, this book has made me a little tetchy. Maybe I should stop reading it. That and I need to leave the room unless I want more inane irritating comments from my flatmate...

-Me

heart - break