Dear Readers,

So I am a lazy biatch, but I thought you might want an explanation, so this is a cut and paste job from an email I recently sent...

Mokay soooo, explanation with the guy:
Second date, overall= a bit smeh. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great.

Reasons why I think I may have been friend zoned in order of occurence:

1) I had originally suggested Fri night i.e dinner I got downgraded to Sunday brunch
2) He was much more casual dress wise, whereas I had dressed up and was even wearing (minimal) makeup
3) He expected me to pay half (which is fine, but weird given he tried to pay last time)
4) No hand holding, no kissage STILL
5) He didn't do the hover at the end and it took ages for him to get around to saying whether or not we would see eachother again and it had definitely downgraded from the first date ("I definitely think we should do this again, next weekend if not before") to "So I guess we'll catch up sometime in the new year".
NB: Applying decoder ring skills, this translates as a definite brush off in boy talk.

And I don't know, it was just more awkward, he didn't get a lot of my jokes (which were FUNNY damnitt!) and I talked about Aidz and he got upset- this was a bad move on my part, but in my defence, it did come up in context and I did make it clear he's not an ex or anything and I talked about a bunch of other people too- and then he kept kind of thinking/saying I was weird for things i.e liking Harry Potter and Transformers.

This was a bit of a shock I must admit, I've never had that reaction, he actually said that I should be embarassed for liking Harry. WTF? I think HE should be embarassed for NOT liking Harry, what the hell is wrong with him, everyone loves Harry!! And that's coz Harry is AWESOME!

Like it was still 3 hours worth of date and also date like activities and we still talked a bunch, so I don't know for sure that I am friend zoned, but I haven't heard anything from him and he hasn't suggested that we catch up in our mutual home town or anything, even though we will both be there over Xmas, so I honestly I have no idea.

Anyway, initally I got really upset because I automatically blamed myself, thought I had fucked up, but then I stopped and thought about it and ironically Aidz and I had an awesome smack in the face convo where he asked me some very blunt questions which made me realise that I don't know that I really like him, so why would I be upset if he doesn't like me?

For instance, he doesn't do phonecalls. This annoys me, I am worth a phonecall damnitt! He did text to confirm the date, but come on, we're meant to be dating, a phonecall is a pretty normal part of the process.

Also, he is a little bit socially awkward- probably why he's still single, because the thing is, he has lived here for 6 YEARS and he goes out a lot, so it's not like he hasn't had the opportunity.

That and I found out that he spent hours composing the emails and stuff he sent to me and I think he really is just that kind of person, he has to stop and think about stuff, whereas my brain fires a million miles an hour, I process a lot faster than most people at the best of times and find it really hard to slow down and wait for people to catch up, so waiting for him to process my jokes is EXCRUCIATING- particularly as they really aren't that complicated!!

So yes, I am at the whole wait and see stage. I don't know if there will be another date, however I also don't know if that is really a bad thing.

He's not a bad guy or anything, but I'm not sure if it would work out and I think I could quite possibly end up in a situation where I am shaking the bejesus out of him, trying to explain my joke and super irritated that he can't just get it without a 5 minute pause for processing (I'm serious, the guy should come with a special shirt with a rainbow pinwheel that spins and says 'loading....').

The thing was, I was excited because someone liked me. It's been a long time since that happened. And it's NICE having a little bit of romance excitement, it's a little bit of gossip and interestingness- but this does not a relationship make.

So we shall just wait and see my pretties.

In the meantime I fly out tonight to see my beloved boys eeeeeeeeeeeeee! That does mean it shall be radio silence for about a week, but I will be back!

xo Me

heart - break