I'm feeling really stressed out and out of control of my life right now. There is so much going on and I don't feel like I have a handle on it. At all.
My shit's a mess.
-My new job is super intense and I'm dealing with mofo bullshit politics
I honestly don't know if I can do this. I think this may be too much for me. Like, for real. The problem is, just like a bear hunt -I can't go over it, I can't go under it, I have to go THROUGH it.
And I know that I have done crazy stuff like this before, but I really really really thought it was over with and I swore I would never do it to myself again. This time, it is a mixture of my choices and then unforeseen circumstances, but I just feel so totally overwhelmed and I really can't see how I'm going to manage this.
And of course, I saw the boy tonight and now i'm in a tailspin. Every time I think I'm over it, I see him and I get fucking butterflies. Every fucking time.
I will need to write this all out later, but currently it's super late, so I will leave this here...unless I can't sleep in which case you will see be back here shortly.
Send me some positive vibes people, I need them!