Bullet proofing (2013-03-23)

Dear Readers,

Sigh. Where to start? Just when I think I am at breaking point, the universe decides to increase the load.

My housemate has decided to move almost a full week before I do and before she said she would. This leaves me without a fridge for 4 days. Cheers!

Even better, she refuses to pay for cleaners, even though I shopped around and found an awesome, super cheap quote. It would be less than $100 each to have the whole house done, but she won't do it. Fucking ridiculous!

All I can think is- at least I won't have to put up with this shit for too much longer. The moodiness and the bullshit and the fucking angst over really small amounts of money. Soon my pretties, soon I shall be free!

The head of my department has just come back and decided that I should have a new supervisor for my dissertation 3 MONTHS BEFORE IT IS DUE. Oh, and just for laughs, *I* have to find a new one. Fabulous.

One person that she suggested- whom I have never met, I might add- has already said no. The other wanted to look at my ethics proposal first. Why the fuck you would want to trawl through the 40 pages (plus appendixes) of that shit is beyond me, but there you go. I still haven't heard from him if it's a yes or no.

This control freak at work decided to pull both my direct manager and the head of my program into a meeting to whinge about me doing my job, because I happen to have a different clinical opinion. Thankfully my direct manager told her that I know what I am doing- which I do, hell I even went to uni for it and everything!- but she continues to be a pain in my ass.

The most frustrating part- aside from not being backed by the head of the program- is that I'm not doing anything crazy or controversial. I'm just not doing what she wants either.

And she thinks that she is what I am- but she's NOT, what she is trying to control is MY job, not hers. If she wants to do my job, she should go back to uni and retrain. Until then, stop wasting my fucking time.

And then, the piece de resistance of my bullshit mountain: The Boy.

It was his birthday the other week. And it was a big one. So, despite the fact that things were a bit shaky, I put that to the side and did what I would do for any other friend. And he was all happy to see me (and get cake) and was back to being super flirty, including making a crack about us sleeping together. To which my response was something along the lines of 'Da fuck?!'

He also checked that I was coming to his birthday party- twice. I confirmed that I was and I would see him there and it was okay for me to bring a friend.

Then, at his party, he proceeded to treat me like utter shit, in front of a bunch of people no less. Only to be normal when no-one was watching, including making funny faces at me across the room etc.

This was due in no small part to the fact that there was another 'friend' of his who was THROWING HERSELF at him. To make it that much worse, she is a fucking twig who looks like a 12yo boy AND she is a dumbass. So much for liking big butts and banter and intelligence, hey champ!

The highlight of my all-around shitty experience was watching him hold her and stroke her hair, then come over to talk to me and the people I was talking to. And when I told him I was leaving, he shrugged and said 'Bye' but in a fuck off tone. I am not misinterpreting this, even Bitchface called him out on it for being harsh, to which he responded 'Well, what do you want me to say?'

Gee, I don't know, how about anything that people normally say in these social situations to people they are meant to be friends with. No no, I'm just going to be an asshole, because I don't want my Sure Thing to think that there is something going on with you, so I will just treat you like dirt to make sure.

And that my friends, is that. I cut him a lot of slack- too much in retrospect- and I really really liked him, so I made way too many excuses, but no more. I can forgive a lot, but treating me like that in front of all of those people, when I have done NOTHING but be an awesome friend is completely unacceptable.

So yes, my life has been a barrel of laughs of late.

I know all of this shit is meant to make me stronger and all of that, but at this rate, I better be fucking bulletproof!


heart - break

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