Major points (2013-05-13)

Dear Readers,

So. Things are progressing with that guy and we are still getting along super well and having some interesting/bizarre conversations, given that we've only been on a couple of dates. Thus far we have discussed several 'no go' topics, including (but not limited to):

religion; marriage; kids; porn/erotic photography (and where the line lies between them); past relationships; his mum dying; my grandmother dying; that we have both seen a psychologist at different times; my dad is not a good guy; fetishes (or lack thereof)...

He has also been totally chilled and cool about a bunch of stuff, including:

-me hanging out with my male friend (who is just a friend & was down from interstate) rather than going on a date with him.

-the fact that I don't drink for medical reasons (already ahead of The Boy who constantly treated me like a freak).

- being roped into an incredibly expensive lunch completely by accident- which he then paid for.

-me kicking him out when we were making out because I had to study.

-me getting the giggles when we were making out. I explained why and he just started laughing too.

- that I'm busy and still want to hang out with my friends and have a life.

-my anxieties about my research. To which he responded 'But why does it have to be perfect? What would happen if you didn't worry about it being perfect?....*thinks* But I spose that is the thing about anxieties, they're not rational, are they?' [I KNOW, right?!]

-the fact that I can- and let's be honest, probably DO- talk his ear off about my work. Apparently it's not boring, it's interesting and it's cool because I'm so passionate about it.

And he's been really respectful about what I'm sure he's picked up on as my boundaries, because he's so fucking perceptive and good with people. So we've had PG kissing & light groping, but only after we cuddled for a while first lol. And at no point was there any attempt to progress it any further, or pressure to stay over.

Points, MAJOR points my friends!

On the flip side, there are also two major red flags:

#1 He just ended a five year relationship. 6 WEEKS AGO. And while he seems really well adjusted about it, I'm not sure if I'm just a rebound.

which leads to

#2 He does make these comments sometimes, that make me question his motives & what he really wants out of this.
A couple of things have been cleared up through further discussion e.g this whole concept of his new apartment being a 'bachelor pad' which ended up being about the fact that he always felt like his ex partners had control over their home environment and he was never allowed to have parties or invite people over, when he is a really social person and wanted to feel like he could share his/their home with other people sometimes.
Generally though, this is why I question if he does think that we are actually dating, or what he thinks we are doing.

Sigh. I guess I'm going to have to talk to him about it, but I am sort of trying to avoid those scary conversations for the time being and just go with the flow a bit more.

I know, weird concept for me hey?

I am also trying not to pick these things apart and analyse every single minute detail. So we will see how THAT goes.

Wish me luck!


heart - break

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