Dear Readers,

I'm having a shit of a time with my anxiety lately. It's making me revert back to my childhood where I just couldn't deal with change. Hatesssss iiit.

Work next year is just going to be FUCKED. At workplace #1 I am going to be stuck managing all of the shit and drama on my own, as 2 friends have left completely and the third is moving to another campus. At workplace #2 today I found out my only friend has gotten a new managerial job leaving me with a blocker, someone who really needs to retire and one of the most passive people on the planet being managed by someone who is a people pleaser and has no idea how to manage.

And I got really upset. I am stoked for her, but devastated for me and then my manager of course had to name that (cheers) and it made me teary, so I had to go for a walk around outside to get my shit back together in order to go and congratulate her like a friend should. Which I did, because I'm an adult.

I think I have just dealt with a lot of news lately on all fronts that has been sprung on me out of the blue and I just can't deal. It makes me feel really out of control and panicky and THAT leads to the bad bad thoughts.

To paraphrase papo- if this is what the next 2/3rds of my life is going to be like, I'd like a trade in please.

-Me

heart - break