Dear Readers,

My mother loves me, but she hurts me so damn much sometimes I just can't stand it. I know she is a good person at heart, but she is so vague it translates to incredibly shitty actions sometimes. And she can't handle real conversations about the hard stuff so we fight about stupid shit like pumpkin. Or I get exasperated because she fucks up something I had just done for dinner- which ironically now I come to think of it, also contains pumpkin.

She can't leave things alone and she doesn't listen to me. She drones on about the most inconsequential shit- I don't care that she went to this florist and what type of crap they put the flowers in, it doesn't matter, but she will still tell me every damn detail. And yet, when I try to explain to her that my brother isn't doing well and she needs to fucking pull her finger out and support him or BAD THINGS will happen she treats it like it's no big deal. Pumpkin is fucking essential to life, but mental health, smeh.

She can't possibly say no to someone because it might put them out when her daughter's mental health and actual LIFE if on the line, but when her step daughter is getting married she can. She makes me give up my life to do her a favour and has the audacity to get shitty with me for not giving up more time AND IT TURNS OUT SHE HAS TO WORK ANYWAY. Oh and I have to find my own way to the airport. Cheers for that.

Fuck this bullshit, this is why I don't come home.

-Me

heart - break