Dear Readers,

What to say…what to say. Ok, there is too much, let me sum up:

1) Touchy Feely guy crashed and burned. Turned out that the look of disgust and judgment was OF ME, because he wants a girl who can be a skank, but only with him. Anyone who has actually had some experience is apparently damaged goods.

Needless to say, yes, he is fucked in the head.

No, I am not upset. It always had an expiry date, and while I had hoped he would limp along until I could at least get some fun out of it, he couldn't even manage that before the crazy came out, so *shrugs* c'est la vie!

2) In a 'my dating life is like Hydra' moment, three new guys showed up in his stead. One of them seems flaky and will probably never get his shit together enough for us to actually go on a date. One of them I went on a truly terrible date with last week- but that is a story for another time. One tidbit- he was wearing super shiny gold armless sunglasses. And it was allll downhill from there.

Player #3 though. Oh boy. He's cute. He's tall. He rides a motorbike. He *called* to arrange a date, he didn't text. We have stupid banter. He also used to live in England. Oh and did I mention, HE RIDES A MOTHERFUCKING MOTORBIKE?!

Yeah, I'm in trouble. I actually want to look nice for our date. I'm even contemplating wearing makeup ffs. And I'm worried that he's going to bail, or meet someone else ala MONA guy- which is ridiculous, as *I* went on a date with someone else in the meantime and he doesn't owe me anything, but there it is. Paranoia in all its glory.

This is how I know despite my newfound attitude of 'Dating is just for shits and giggles' that I actually like this one. Which is a Bad Idea that I have been trying desperately to avoid/stop, but to no avail. He's been ridiculously sweet and goofy and he made a pun via text yesterday. I fucking love puns.

This is bad you guys. Very bad. I can't emotionally invest in someone who may just want to fuck me. Like for reals, as that is how you get hurt.

This is particularly a concern, as my pelvis has decided to fuck itself up, so I don't think sexy times are on the table for a little while- not unless I want to be in screaming agony because I have subluxed my hip joint. Funnily enough, that does tend to kinda kill the mood with these things.

AAaarrgh. I have said it before, and I will say it again, I am just not cut out for dating. My twisted little heart can't take it.

-Me

heart - break