Dear Panda,

I feel like I�m on the brink of something, I can feel the edge of the cliff with my toes and yet I refuse to either step back or step over. The universe seems to be cosmically arranging itself around us and yet we�re both standing there with our eyes scrunched up tight, refusing to see what�s in front of us.

And it�s not just me who�s noticed it. I was told by another friend that we look like we�re together emotionally and that he thought we could quite easily be married. But that�s not the problem, because I can always ignore other people�s opinions, the problem is that I cannot ignore what my body tells me.

I hum with your nearness, blissfully happy just to stand in your presence. And it�s not like with James, where it�s pure lust, because I have NEVER felt so safe and content as I do when I�m in your arms, it�s like�home. I can imagine being in those arms for the rest of my life and that scares me more than you could possibly know.

I don�t want to love someone only to find out that they are incapable of loving me back, because it just hurts too damn much. So please Panda, I�m begging you, be my friend or be my lover, but don�t break my heart.

-Me

heart - break