White Flag (2008-05-31)

Dear Nathan,

I was going to text you today, then I don't know, something stopped me. I haven't heard from you, still. I suppose this is not unusual, as previous to that night, I hadn't heard from you in months, but since then it was basically once a week for a while there and now, nothing.

And now I'm torn you see.

Normally I would stress and freak out and analyse every little thing I did and every little thing you did and try to figure out where I went wrong and how I could fix it.

But the thing is, I'm tired. I tired of this whole thing, where I struggle and fight and for what? Half the time when I finally take a breath from the battle I realise that I am there by myself, standing entirely alone and fighting for something that everyone else gave up on a long time ago.

And I'm tired. So unless you give me some sign here that there is something worth fighting for, I'm out! You can go and self destruct on your own time, I won't try and stop you and fight for your happiness if you won't fight for yourself.

I did really like you, I hope you know that, but you have to decide that you are something worth fighting for, I can't do it for you and I'm done trying.

I really truly hope you figure it all out. If you do, look me up k?


heart - break

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