It just makes me tired (2002-01-20)

Dear Gallus,

So it seems yet another 'friend' has turned into a psychotic two faced arsehole who is toxic to my life. Fucking excellent.

I just don't know what to do, what he did is horrible and abhorrent to me and frankly, just wrong. I mean who does that?

And what makes it even worse is that it may have cost me the friendship of someone else, who didn't do anything wrong, but whom I involved in all of this. And the thought makes me physically sick.

I just feel awful. And I'm angry and more importantly, scared. I genuinely don't want to have anything to do with him- at least not until he apologises to my other friend and even then, I'm still not sure. But of course, he has my stuff back in Oz, so I'm kind of screwed.

I just want to crawl into a hole and not think about any of this. And I can't help but think that everyone I trust seems to just end up fucking me over.

My dad, you, Mel and now BB. What is it about me that attracts this kind of drama and bullshit?

I want to talk to you, for the first time in a long time. You were always good at this grey area crap- although that's usually because you started it lol.

Fuck reality. It bites.


heart - break

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