Up to scratch? (2010-10-04)

Dear Gallus,

I am getting a little bit stressed about my assignment. I have some research, yes, but I'm starting to become concerned that it isn't the type they want. I can't seem to find all of this literature they propose exists. Where is it? I can't find it!

And while I know that anything I produce will be most likely far superior to anything stupidhead OT does, I'm not sure that it will be up to my own standards. My last assignment for this person, I only got a distinction. Although the one before that was a HD...but still.

I want to continue doing well. I was discussing this with a friend from home today and the thing is that it is such a positive step in the quest to improve your own future, but sometimes you wonder if you're up to it.

It has the double whammy for me in that I am paying for it and it is not cheap. And, let's be honest, it's also a big step along my Path Away From You and about number 58 on my list of things I have done/am doing without you holding me back.

Thus I feel substantial pressure to kick some serious academic arse and I do get very personally upset when I get a bad grade- i.e not a HD- because I feel like I am failing myself and I may as well have stayed in the laide and been with you.

I have sacrificed so much, I just want to make sure it is worth it.


heart - break

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